Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Deep Thoughts

Hey, I've been out of the internet loop for a while. But since my neighbor is on her wireless today, I thought I'd sneak in a note. All this lack of computer, has forced me to think...

Who watched President Monson's talk at General Conference, Sunday morning session? It was the last talk of the session, so you know...I was tired, but also quite softened up spiritually (especially after Elder Holland's talk--he's a favorite). But anyway, just for context, Sheldon and I have been feeling very sorry for ourselves for a while down here. We had an accountant rob us of a lot of money, but what made it ten times worse was that, to stop him from taking all of our money, we had to put a "block" on our account. That was the fifth of February.

The block solved one problem but started another one because the bank didn't really have a system to reopen the account. We have been jumping through endless loops of paperwork, bureacracy, lawyers and judges...and actually it is still blocked and all of our creditors and employees are absolutely screaming (we are too!) because they haven't been paid since January. So, we are wondering what will happen to us, how and if our business is going to survive, and how much longer this nightmare is going to last etc. It's one of those things where you think you can't possibly live another day without a resolution to your problem, but another day passes and you go to blessed sleep (if your can) and you wake up with the same burden of Atlas on your shoulders...

And so when President Monson told this story about the lady who had to walk from Russia to Germany, with NOTHING except her 4 children, ages 7 to baby, I felt so much better! You really better go pull it up if you missed it. It was such a HORRIBLE story that it made my problems seem like tiddly winks. That night I had a nightmare that KK broke his neck and he was dead, sickly gray-purple, and then...I woke up. I just was washed with joy that my problems were temporary.

It made me think about why this lady suffered to the utmost. I am pretty much floored by the mundane problems of life! Why are there some who are burned to death in Ammonihah for their faith in Christ, and others who simply suffer the consequences of their own lack of experience? How in the world can these two experiences be analogous?

In thinking about this, my thoughts turned to the people who caused the suffering in these cases. For example, the war mongers in WWII--obviously they will be accountable for this woman's suffering. In Ammonihah, you know that every neighbor who silently consented to the murder of her neighbors, who offered no word of resistance or protest, but watched their friends and their friend's children incinerate, was massacred by the Lamanites. Somehow thinking about the other side, the causers of suffering, explained a lot for me.

I guess it's very simple. Some people die doing the right and some people die doing the wrong--and then they go to reap their rewards. It just hit me in the face that the Lord is just trying to get us across the finish line winning. The horrific things that happen in life are nothing compared to those that happen after this life. Horrific things will really happen to those who cause suffering. Those who suffered mortal atrocities, from their new state of peace, safety and undoubtedly glory, will be free to forgive their murderers. The righteous forgive and forget, but the wicked don't get to forget. They will not be free until they have experienced God's eternal punishment--which I think is an endless remembering of those very atrocities that they inflicted. Thus they suffer the endless atrocity.

I can worry about my house payment and every other financial disaster that happens to me, but that will all go away one day. The big thing is to do good, to die doing the right, because nothing could be worse than an endless reliving of our own mistakes.


  1. I loved to hear your thoughts. I am sorry you are having to struggle still. I sent you an email.

  2. Oh Kristen! It pains me to know you are going through hardship so far away! I know you will come through fine in the end. President Monson's story made my heart ache so terribly, and then caused the reaction it was meant to: remind me how we will all have trials in this life. Some of them terrible! I'm not so sure that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it is just the result of someone else's bad choices, but there is always something that can be learned from every experience if we take the opportunity! We love you guys and hope things get better real soon!

  3. I sorry you are going through all that financial garbage. How frustrating. And to have it going on for so long.
    Sometimes when people tell me, "Don't worry. Things will work out," it's upsetting. I KNOW things will work out. I understand the concept of focusing on the eternal perspective of our Heavenly Father. All I really want is a little understanding and sympathy. Isn't it interesting how we deal with our trials?
    I hope yours become resolved very soon. Having lived in PR I understand all the red tape, etc. I should be more grateful that most things in the US are so efficient.
    I'm sending love to you and a silent prayer to our Father. Love, Cecilia

  4. Garsh...It will be nice to LOOK BACK on this particular trial and not be in the middle of it.

  5. Kristen & Sheldon,

    We love you soooooooooooo much! We are praying for you. We think you guys are awesome and we miss you terribly.


    The Rindlisbachers